


Endearment

by Rakviel (Sarillion)



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Demiromantic Hux, Fluff, M/M, Post-Canon, i had that craving, i just needed something to rot my teeth from the inside out you know, it's accidental this time i swear, like maybe a speck of angst if you squint, mind-reading
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-05-23
Packaged: 2018-06-10 08:19:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6947377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarillion/pseuds/Rakviel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"endearment</p><p>noun  en·dear·ment \in-ˈdir-mənt\</p><p>a word or phrase that shows love or affection"</p><p>Hux tries to figure out when the space in his bed was suddenly occupied.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Endearment

**Author's Note:**

> ok so maybe i lied there's a little more angst here than i thought
> 
> don't ever let me write pure angst

Hux couldn’t quite put his finger on when Kylo Ren stopped leaving his bed. The switch from abandoning his quarters the moment Hux went to clean up, to occupying his sheets like a fixed point. It’d been subtle, really, Ren drawing out the afterglow from half a minute to eight hours of sleep. Sitting down on the unoccupied side of the bed, Hux pulled a bare leg up to a clothed chest. The sleeveless shirt was only too large on him because he’d shrunk. About two inches in height. Several years of physical training in width. He’d keep wearing it so long as no one commented on it. The General felt like kicking the real owner out, telling him to bring his blanket-hogging tendencies with him. 

 

He didn’t. Purely because Kylo was doing him the favor of keeping the bed warm. 

 

Neither of them could place their finger on when any of this had started. Before the fall of Starkiller Base. Though at that point it was hatred filled with something like convenient lust or hunger. They could’ve had anyone else, really. But only as a temporary solution. No one could handle Kylo Ren’s calloused grip or fragile temper as well as the First Order’s favourite general. No one could feed Hux’s ego or keep him on his toes quite like the master of the Knights of Ren. They were about as balanced as a gyroscope being consistently pushed by a curious toddler. Though it worked, Hux frequently expected it to eventually crash and burn. When it still hadn’t, about half a year after it first started, he was starting to hear alarm bells. 

 

Warning voices reminded him that Kylo Ren wasn’t a permanent fixture in his life the way he was imprinted in his bed. He wasn’t something to be kept like a pet. He wasn’t something to, in any way, get attached to. The first four months of their haphazard relationship was easy. Hux needed release, Kylo needed something non-materialistic to ruin. Anyone thinking Hux was that something were foolishly naive. Somehow, Kylo was satisfied with letting others ruin him instead of letting him ruin others. Hux found some sort of pride in the fact that not all of Kylo’s marked skin was from battle. Temporary or not. During the changeover point of their relationship, where empty hallways and cramped spaces turned into Hux’s bed and the occasional training room, Kylo Ren made himself comfortable enough to shed the title, the power, the responsibility that kept him _angry_. So dangerously angry. Hux much preferred the mess that clawed at his back in gratification whenever he managed to hit a spot that made Kylo forget his own name. Anyone who’d ever seen the knight in that state would’ve agreed. Meaning only Hux. Did he shamelessly pride himself in that as well? Maybe. 

 

Maybe he also prided himself in the current rhythmic rise and fall of Kylo’s chest, the stern yet safe grip he had on the sheets. Maybe he felt awfully proud he was the only one that made Kylo feel like putting his guard down wasn’t the worst thing in the world. 

 

It had happened around the same time as they switched from secretive quick rounds to Hux’s quarters. He hadn’t failed to notice Kylo’s half-desperate grip on Hux in the moments before he got up. Like needing to keep him there was a priority. Hux had ignored it like one would ignore a crying kid. Discipline, making sure Kylo knew better than to demand any sort of affection in return for his sudden obsession. It lasted for about a month: Kylo’s frantic attempts to get Hux’s attention outside of their _intimate_ moments, and Hux’s cold rejection of doing anything of the sort. After that period, Kylo’s affection manifested itself more subtly. Still not unnoticable, but enough for Hux’s rejection to seem more like a particularly hurtful pinprick, rather than the twisted knife in Kylo’s gut every time Hux ripped himself away from him as soon as possible. For some reason, Kylo had grown attached to him within the span of three months, while Hux’s emotions were still on a deeply disconnected level. It was a trade between them. Nothing more, nothing less. Hux couldn’t fathom what Kylo saw that he didn’t.

 

Kylo had occasionally tried to point out that what he saw was: Hux’s change of manner the moment he entered the door to his quarters. The way he folded everything he wore with such a dexterity that it kept Kylo’s attention just as well as anything else he might’ve been able to do with those hands. The way he had three different looks of passion in his eyes, each reserved for a specific purpose, once you looked closely.

 

Hux had pointedly banned him from his quarters and the bridge for a week.

 

A stutter in Kylo’s breathing forced Hux to his feet. The air in the room turned tense, Hux’s paranoia getting the better of him. He wondered if Kylo was really asleep. A few seconds of no confirmation made him patter silently to the other side of the bed, where he could get a better look at his partners face.

 

He was asleep. Albeit restlessly, as far as Hux could tell. Something had startled him, though it wasn’t Hux. A few off-rhythm breaths, and Kylo was silent as the grave again, falling back into sleep. Hux didn’t know why he was so glad. However, now that Kylo had made him stand up, he didn’t quite feel like leaving his side just yet. Instead, he sat down onto the floor, crossing his legs and observing the knight. A better alternative to pacing over his unnecessary thoughts, or so he told himself.

 

It took him a minute of tracing Kylo’s features in the dim lighting for Hux to dare walk onto the inevitable related subject of his last train of thought. 

 

When some of the interest had grown mutual.

 

This was harder to place than Kylo’s rapid change from ‘desperate for distraction’ to ‘desperate for affection.’ Hux could at least tell when Kylo stopped leaving willingly and started leaving because Hux did so as well. When Hux stopped doing exactly that… he hadn’t quite noticed. At some point, the fleeting attraction to Kylo’s aesthetic features (the odd face was very easy on the eye once you got used to it) had turned into something else. When Kylo started making a home in Hux’s bed, he’d been opposed to it for a whole three days. He realized Kylo slept better in his bed than he ever would in his own. For the best interest of the whole base, he decided to let him have his way, just this once.

 

Like with a stray cat, it wasn’t just once.

 

Soon enough, Hux managed to find excuses for letting Kylo do what he liked. Anything close to nuzzling, cuddling, pecks or et cetera were blamed on Ren’s cool-down period. Meaning the moment of sizzling embers between his release and when he dozed off. Something to be blamed on, hell, Hux didn’t know. Dopamine. Or some shit. Something like that. Kylo had agreed on that, which alerted Hux of the fact that he was subtly reading his mind. This earned him a night on the floor. Or, well. Ten minutes on the floor. Until Hux realized Ren was deliberately tossing and turning, occasionally kicking his foot against the bed because _he just couldn’t find a good position on the fucking floor and just give up Hux you’re acting like a bitch._

 

It was rather unsettling, now that he thought about it, how _Kylo Ren_ had invaded his space, found a good spot inside his routine, and settled down to stay. He wasn’t sure he liked it. He wasn’t sure he hated it, either.

 

Hux thanked whatever force in the universe had brought Kylo awake for letting him slip out of that thought. Three sleepy blinks were all Kylo needed before he had the audacity to raise his brows at Hux. Couldn’t a man stare down his sleeping mortal enemy (with benefits) for the large part of the night? The nerve of some. 

 

All of three minutes were spent in silence before realizing Kylo hadn’t been sleeping. Not entirely, at least.

 

“I told you to stop doing that.”

 

“You’re such a loud thinker.” Hux clenched his jaw, getting up from his spot on the floor to climb over Kylo and onto his side of the bed. Hell, they were both his side of the bed. That whole ‘kick him out’ plan sounded really tempting right about now. At least up until Kylo rolled over, pressing his lips against Hux’s shoulder in something that was purposefully not a kiss. Kylo knew he didn’t allow that. Bending the rules was technically also forbidden. Hux was frankly too tired to tell him off.

 

“How much did you catch of that?”

 

“I accidentally tuned in around the time you were recalling what I like about you.”

 

“Stop being sappy.”

 

“What would you call that, then?”

 

“A list of dumb things you’ve said that keep throwing me off.”

 

Acceptable. Kylo showed an uncharacteristic amount of restraint not to say anything on that. Hux turned his head toward him, meeting his gaze in the dark room.

 

“Do you want to say anything of what you thought out loud?” Ren’s voice was hopeful. Cautious. 

 

“Why?” He already knew the answer. He still wanted Kylo to keep talking.

 

“So I’m allowed to bring it up.” 

 

Turning his body entirely toward Ren, Hux dared trace a finger down the side of his face. Kylo closed his eyes at that, simmering in the rare show of endearment. Hux could barely make out the scar across his partners face, though he felt the ridge of it along the bottom of his jaw. It reminded him as well as Ren of that failure, though that might not’ve been the knight’s intention.

 

“Give me more time.” The tone of his voice gave Kylo permission to read into that what he wished. He must’ve found something he liked, as Ren put a hand to the general’s hip, pulling him closer. Hux would’ve had glared if he had the strength, but it felt as though any energy saved for hating Ren’s displays of affection had been tapped. He wasn’t sure he wanted to refuel it. Kylo seemed to be waiting for him to do so, anyway.

 

“It might not be… unbearable. To let you keep doing this.” Hux’s voice was quiet. Almost timid. 

 

Kylo’s smile wasn’t.

**Author's Note:**

> it's two am.  
> i'm so tired.
> 
> hey, leave a review or kudos if you liked it, buddy! I thrive on attention much in the same way Kylo does.


End file.
